Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

431 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,700

Funny Quotes Topics

17,718

Funny Quotes Images

15,700

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,466

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Trending via Threads:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Going bananas on YouTube:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Just landed via X:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Breaking via Instagram:

Long story short, I survived.

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

1 day ago

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Commentary:
Going solo on questionable life choices like a true champion! 🏆🤔😂

awareness, bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, humor, independence, me, nothing, peer, peer pressure, pressure, self, self-awareness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

6 months ago

dude, got, MacBook, place, places, public, public place, sudden, work
I like deadlines. They make me functional.

1 week ago

deadline, deadlines, functional, functionality, humor, i, me, motivation, procrastination, productivity
Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

2 months ago

body, brain, everyday, exercise, fitness, humor, i, just, much, needs, running, think, workout
I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

2 months ago

appearance, burger, Burger King, construction, fast, fast food, food, humor, just, king, McDonald’s, never, observation, seen, show, surprise, under
Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

1 month ago

cause, cold, humor, jacket, paper, paper towel, Shein, shivering, towel, towels
The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

2 weeks ago

aging, amount, discovery, family, humor, older, secret, secrets, wild

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on X this month:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

87 shares on X this month:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

37 shares on Discord this month:

My default setting is sexual energy.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

40 shares on X this month:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Breaking via X:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Live now on WeChat:

How do I un-know people?

Shared recently on Threads:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Going viral on Threads:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Trending via Facebook:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Just landed via Instagram:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨