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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,569

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Trending via Slack:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Seen just now on Discord:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Trending via YouTube:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Breaking via X:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Popping your head in the cockpit and saying, “Anywhere here will do, chief.

Humorous text about casual flight attitude, playful and witty aviation joke.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
This level of trust might get you upgraded to co-pilot! 🛫😂

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

71 shares on Slack this month:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

25 shares on Threads this month:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Being a little freak is my love language.

28 shares on Discord this month:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, when you go with the flow you end up drowning with everyone else.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,411

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Just shared via Facebook:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Making waves on Slack:

I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Going viral on YouTube:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

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