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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.
  • The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?
  • I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.
  • I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.
  • When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.
  • “You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.