Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,539

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Going bananas on X:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Just shared via YouTube:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Shared recently on Slack:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Going viral on Slack:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Going viral on TikTok:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Right?! Reality could use some of that fanfic magic! 💕✨📚"

attraction, fanfic, fun, humor, i, reading, real, romance, romantic, thinking, wish, wishful, wishful thinking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

2 months ago

ad, ads, away, click, humor, irony, nothing, size, x
Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

3 months ago

anticipation, bite, fantasy, humor, line, real, soon, supernatural, vampire, vampires
It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

6 months ago

appearance, attractive, attractive person, fair, good, humor, jealousy, people, person, skill, talent, things, unfair
Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

6 months ago

blacksmith, cold, cold water, cooking, feel, frying, frying pan, hot, hot pan, humor, kitchen, me, metaphor, pan, putting, running, sink, water
Internet strangers offer the best advice.

2 months ago

advice, best, humor, internet, media, offer, online, social, social media, strangers
So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

2 months ago

before, died, Elvis, Lego, mama, movie, sad

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Threads this month:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Shared recently on Threads:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Just landed via X:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Trending via YouTube:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Going viral on Instagram:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨