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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,725

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Just shared via Threads:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Going viral on Slack:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Making waves on WeChat:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Trending via Threads:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Making waves on Slack:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Spotted on Instagram:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When did my life get optioned for a sequel? 📚😅

book, events, humor, life, misfortune, nostalgia, remember, series, series of unfortunate events, unfortunate

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

0

2 months ago

building, day, fun, next, pretty, saying, things, young
The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

0

4 months ago

after, bragging, disappointment, humor, man, needs, relationship, science
The most important meal of the day is the next one.

0

2 months ago

day, eating, food, humor, importance, meal, next, timing
I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

0

2 months ago

behavior, breakfast, humor, hunger, i, know, mood, morning
They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

0

3 months ago

airport, anxiety, before, humor, introvert, invent, invention, people, public, second, should, social, social anxiety, travel
I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal communication, back, barrier, cat, cats, communication, effort, English, humor, i, joke, just, language, language barrier, language joke, making, meowing, quirky, show, tried

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Twitch this month:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

11 shares on Slack this month:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

32 shares on Twitch this month:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Just landed via Twitch:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Seen just now on Instagram:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Going bananas on TikTok:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Just landed via YouTube:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Just landed via Telegram:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Trending via Facebook:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨