Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Just landed via WeChat:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Breaking via Twitch:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like Santa's lactose intolerance has turned into Hulk mode! 🥛🎅💥墙

Christmas, funny incident, hole, holiday, humor, i, incident, left, milk, punch, Santa, soy, soy milk, wall

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

0

2 months ago

bags, beauty, eyes, fashion, humor, i, self-deprecation, style, under, Versace
Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

0

5 months ago

anime, care, deodorant, even, humor, hygiene, man, personal, personal care, still, wear
I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

0

2 months ago

beauty, extra, hair, humor, i, know, pluck, sacrifice, self-care, white
In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

0

2 months ago

burnt, cheese, cooking, defense, excuse, food, grilled, grilled cheese, humor, kitchen, kitchen mishap, mishap, sandwich
Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, clothing, elegant, elephant, fashion, humor, image, leggings, self-deprecation
I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

0

2 months ago

always, bring, family, guilt, humor, i, joke, know, luggage, me, mom, parenting, relationships, sarcasm, send, shell, travel, trip, visiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Telegram this month:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

29 shares on Threads this month:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

53 shares on Slack this month:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

30 shares on Discord this month:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Going viral on Discord:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Spotted on Discord:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Spotted on TikTok:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Just landed via Reddit:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨