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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has shared:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has downloaded:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has downloaded:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has shared:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has copied:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has viewed:

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

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16,895

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14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,821

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Slack:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Trending via YouTube:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Π†f you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Ending my thesis paper with β€œbut who cares what I think?”

Making waves on Snapchat:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Trending via Threads:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Just shared via Instagram:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.
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Commentary:
When I'm losing an argument, I just go full drama modeβ€”might as well get an Oscar! πŸ˜‚πŸŽ­

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,893

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has viewed:

β€œAt your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has shared:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has viewed:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has shared:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡° has shared:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has copied:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Messenger:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, β€œthis looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Going viral on Threads:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Spotted on Twitch:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Breaking via YouTube:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Going bananas on Instagram:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Just shared via Telegram:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

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