Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,386

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Going viral on Instagram:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Spotted on Reddit:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs a therapist when your keyboard is ready to listen? 💻🛋️😂

cheaper, coping, coping mechanism, culture, health, humor, internet, internet culture, mechanism, media, mental, mental health, posting, shit, shitposting, social, social media, therapy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

0

2 months ago

argument, ask, contradiction, couch, girl, girls, help, humor, jar, open, relationship, strength, throw
God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

0

2 months ago

divine, enough, God, humor, joke, religion, sarcasm, smiting
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

0

2 months ago

embrace, hug, humor, i, joke, marriage, me, mistake, mistakes, relationship, told, wife
There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

0

2 months ago

avoid, avoidance, humor, people, politics, types
I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

0

2 months ago

eye, eyes, heat, humor, i, ID, just, laser, laser eye, lazy, something, soup, superhero, too
I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

0

2 months ago

book, books, coffee, dragon, drink, fantasy, girl, humor, i, just, laugh, machine, pet, read, simple, simple girl, sunset, thinking, time, time machine, want, watch, wishful, wishful thinking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on TikTok this month:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

24 shares on Slack this month:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

67 shares on Threads this month:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

99 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Shared recently on Threads:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Going viral on Twitch:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Shared recently on Discord:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Making waves on Reddit:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Trending via Discord:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Making waves on Telegram:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Making waves on TikTok:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨