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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,468

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Making waves on Messenger:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Making waves on X:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Just landed via X:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Spotted on Slack:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, perfect! Just needed someone to say it—problem solved! 😂🤔✨

advice, humor, irony, mindset, oh, overthinking, problem, problem-solving, sarcasm, solving, stop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

0

2 months ago

app, dating, food, humor, mat, quirky, relationship, sandwich, Tinder
Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

0

2 months ago

Alpha, courses, humor, learning, online, online courses, self-improvement, YouTube
I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

0

2 months ago

confusion, exhaustion, fatigue, humor, i, know, relatable, sleep, still, tired
Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

0

2 months ago

90s, comedy, humor, intrusive, neighbor, sitcom, thought, thoughts
Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

0

6 months ago

age, bad, bad news, going, humor, life, motivation, news, perspective, right, time, young, youth
For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

0

2 months ago

divorce, divorce lawyer, humor, joke, lawyer, marriage, need, next, relationship, trick

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on WeChat this month:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

32 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

36 shares on X this month:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

48 shares on X this month:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Shared recently on Slack:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Just shared via Slack:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Going viral on Messenger:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Making waves on WeChat:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Seen just now on Discord:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Going bananas on YouTube:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨