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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,529

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

Going viral on Facebook:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Just shared via Telegram:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Going viral on Reddit:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Going viral on Messenger:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Going viral on Pinterest:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Live now on Pinterest:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, perfect! Just needed someone to say it—problem solved! 😂🤔✨

advice, humor, irony, mindset, oh, overthinking, problem, problem-solving, sarcasm, solving, stop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

0

2 months ago

ask, conversation, expectations, humor, i, irony, me, relationship, response, trust, well
Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

0

2 months ago

diary, humor, husband, i, promise, relationship, secret, tell, trust
An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

0

6 months ago

challenge, escape, escape room, game, good, humor, just, luck, mental, mental game, mind, room, thought, thoughts
My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, budget, even, fashion, humor, just, money, personal, personal style, real, style, vision, wait
There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

0

2 months ago

done, enough, humor, i, movie, movie night, night, not enough, popcorn, quantity, regret, snack
The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

0

2 months ago

amount, concern, concerning, humor, i, inappropriate, inappropriate thoughts, little, mental, mental state, self-awareness, state, thoughts

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Telegram this month:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

39 shares on X this month:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

75 shares on X this month:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

18 shares on Twitch this month:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

62 shares on X this month:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

90 shares on Threads this month:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Just shared via Slack:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Seen just now on Discord:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Going viral on Messenger:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Going viral on Slack:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Shared recently on X:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Never trust a wet fart.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨