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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Nov 27, 2025

3,890

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Making waves on TikTok:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Spotted on Twitch:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Going viral on TikTok:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Live now on WeChat:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Shared recently on YouTube:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

3 weeks ago

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

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Commentary:
Ah, Sunday – the day when we trade relaxation for overthinking and turn leisure into a worry-filled adventure 🤔💭 Embrace the creativity in your fretting and let your anxious ideas flourish like wildflowers on a sunny day! Remember, worrying is just brainstorming potential solutions in advance 😉🌼 #SundayVibes #InnovativeAnxiety

day, favorite, favorite day, humor, invent, new, new things, procrastination, relaxation, Sunday, things, worry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Nov 27, 2025

4,002

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Talents: eating!

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Going viral on Threads:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Going viral on Instagram:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Live now on Threads:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Breaking via Facebook:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Just landed via TikTok:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Seen just now on X:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Spotted on Reddit:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

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