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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,387

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Shared recently on Instagram:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Going viral on Slack:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Just shared via Slack:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Breaking via Discord:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

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The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.
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Commentary:
Ah, the '90s, a decade of innocence lost and groupie love found! 🎸😜 Rock stars were the ultimate superstars, and groupies were their loyal followers hoping for a backstage pass to romance. Let's just say, there were more heartstrings being strummed than guitar strings! 🎶💋 #RockStarRomance #ThrowbackToThe90s

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

36 shares on Slack this month:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

64 shares on X this month:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

89 shares on X this month:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,361

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Spotted on Slack:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Breaking via Twitch:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Just landed via Facebook:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Broadcasted on Threads:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Spotted on YouTube:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

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