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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,495

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Spreading quickly via X:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Just landed via Snapchat:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Just landed via TikTok:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Making waves on Discord:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like living in a beauty pageant with constant plot twists! 👀👗🏙️

attraction, best, brand, city, city life, daily, daily life, dating, day, every, hot, hot woman, hottest, humor, life, literally, new, NYC, single, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

6 months ago

casual, casual conversation, conversation, drinking, drunk, getting, humor, i, just, me, self-reflection
My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

2 months ago

clean, cleaning, fear, funny situation, humor, i, kids, loud, neighbors, parenting, room, situation, yelling
Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

2 months ago

app, bruise, came, health, humor, idea, invention, mystery, technology, where
Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

1 month ago

appendix, belief, believe, biology, humor, i, organ, people, primordial, think, vestigial, vestigial organ
Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

1 week ago

am, choice, family, humor, i, independence, individualism, person, personal, personal choice, unfortunately, want
I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

3 months ago

adult, changes, growing, growing up, humor, life, life changes, stop, struggle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Discord this month:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

15 shares on X this month:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

Going viral on Facebook:

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

Going viral on Instagram:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Spotted on Twitch:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Going bananas on Threads:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Breaking via Messenger:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨