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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Just landed via Telegram:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Live now on WhatsApp:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Sometimes, when you go with the flow you end up drowning with everyone else.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Freshly posted on Slack:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Going viral on YouTube:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Live now on Threads:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect excuse for a solo pizza party! 🍕😌🕺

alone, calm, crowd, inner, inner peace, interaction, peace, people, quiet, social, social interaction, solitude

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

2 months ago

candy, candy cane, cane, humor, me, self-deprecation, sweet, twisted
When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

2 months ago

aspirations, dream, dream job, dude, humor, i, job, just, know, life, me, relatable, someone, work
It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

4 weeks ago

5, after, afterlife, almost, cool, death, died, event, experience, humor, life, life event, near-death, near-death experience, reflection, surprise, times, top
Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

2 months ago

chaos, confusion, gathering, humor, jumping, me, mental, mind, struggle, thought, thoughts
Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

2 months ago

accuracy, anger, born, comedy, ghost, ghosts, height, historical, historical accuracy, horror, me, movie, nothing, research, screenwriter, tall
You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

6 days ago

behind, chore, daily, daily task, day, every, household, humor, laundry, procrastination, still, task

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on TikTok this month:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

78 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

78 shares on Threads this month:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

42 shares on Instagram this month:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

89 shares on X this month:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

71 shares on Threads this month:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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