The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

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If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

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“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

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True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

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I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

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I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

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Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.