Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Going viral on Messenger:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Just shared via Twitch:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Going viral on WeChat:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Live now on LinkedIn:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Live now on Instagram:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like we're all slacking on our ocean-draining duties 😂🌊🚰

change, climate, climate change, daily, daily routine, day, drinking, glasses, health, humor, hydration, joke, ocean, rising, rising sea, routine, sea, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

2 months ago

bad, bad outfit, broke, clothes, clothes hanger, fashion, hanger, humor, just, outfit, outfits, superstition, wardrobe
I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

2 months ago

hearing, humor, i, ID, log, log off, myself, sarcasm, self, self-talk, talk, tired
When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

2 months ago

adulthood, age, fatigue, fun, leisure, older, recovery, weekend, young, youth
Stop dating if you have no car.

4 months ago

advice, car, dating, humor, relationship, stop
If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

2 months ago

age, back, comedy, foolishness, humor, idiot, maturity, realize, reflection, self, self-awareness, self-deprecating, still, younger
Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

5 months ago

adult, delegation, humor, me, procrastination, responsibility, stuff, today, wants

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

96 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

63 shares on Reddit this month:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Trending via Pinterest:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Trending via Snapchat:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Live now on TikTok:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Going viral on Pinterest:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Stop dating if you have no car.

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨