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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

4,057

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Going viral on TikTok:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Going viral on Telegram:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

1 week ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎃🛍️ "Guess I'll be dressing as 'everyday me' for Halloween this year, thanks to these 'costume quality' outfits!" 👻🤣

clothing, comparison, costume, fashion, Halloween, Halloween costume, humor, literally, quality, retail, retail store, shopping, store, stores, today, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

1 month ago

busy, choices, dream, going, i, ignore, life, lot, priorities, right, stress, symbolic
The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

1 month ago

clothing, ever, expensive, expensive clothing, fashion, gown, healthcare, hospital, hospital gown, humor, irony, medical, most, wear
It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

5 months ago

Christmas, holiday, holiday humor, humor, jingle, pun, standing, wordplay
People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

1 month ago

annoying, attract, attraction, capacity, deranged, double, humor, i, opposites, partner, people, relationships, same, say
Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

1 month ago

always, distant, distant family member, family, growing, growing up, humor, i, identity, member
Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

2 months ago

comparison, every, humor, pattern, people, personality, repetition, same, time, wallpaper

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Live now on Reddit:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Breaking via Discord:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Spotted on Twitch:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

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The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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