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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Shared recently on Facebook:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Live now on Pinterest:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Spotted on Reddit:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I need money, not feelings.

Just shared via TikTok:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Shared recently on Threads:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎃🛍️ "Guess I'll be dressing as 'everyday me' for Halloween this year, thanks to these 'costume quality' outfits!" 👻🤣

clothing, comparison, costume, fashion, Halloween, Halloween costume, humor, literally, quality, retail, retail store, shopping, store, stores, today, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

2 months ago

behavior, dance, dancing, humor, others, reciprocity, social, social behavior, twerk
I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

2 months ago

bring, eat, food, fun, going, humor, i, lunch, meeting, meetings, pickle, vibe, workplace
Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

2 months ago

different, disappointment, gender, humor, men, stereotype, type
Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

5 months ago

able, adulthood, alone, choice, choose, day, freedom, hear, home, humor, irony, kid, loneliness, scary, scary story, stay, stay home, story, want, whatever
I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

2 months ago

3, after, afternoon, daylight, forgot, funny observation, i, just, night, November, observation, time, weird
Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

1 month ago

30s, compliment, congrats, dating, decision making, humor, panic, person, pick, relationship, should, unmarried, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Threads this month:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

21 shares on Threads this month:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

53 shares on Threads this month:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

34 shares on Threads this month:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Shared recently on Twitch:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Going viral on Facebook:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Spotted on WeChat:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Trending via WhatsApp:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Going viral on Instagram:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Trending via TikTok:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Trending via Threads:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨