Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

828 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,990

Funny Quotes Topics

13,934

Funny Quotes Images

10,990

29 minutes ago

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Just landed via X:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Just landed via X:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Making waves on WeChat:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Freshly posted on X:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Breaking via Discord:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Making waves on Instagram:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Spotted on Discord:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Just landed via Threads:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

5 months ago

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wearing headphones: A surefire way to invite virtual shout-outs from invisible fans in the room 🤷‍♂️🎧 "Hey, did you say something?" Ah yes, the classic case of music-induced ghostly hecklers! 😂 So, next time you find yourself randomly shouting "What?!" at an imaginary audience, just blame it on the headphones! #HeadphonesHauntedByFriendlySpectators

experience, hallucination, headphones, humor, isolation, music, people, perception, shouting, thing, why, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

828 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,990

Funny Quotes Topics

13,934

Funny Quotes Images

10,990

29 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Seen just now on Slack:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Spreading quickly via X:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Shared recently on Slack:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴