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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Just landed via Facebook:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Spotted on Messenger:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Just shared via Telegram:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Trending via Slack:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

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The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?
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Commentary:
Wearing headphones: A surefire way to invite virtual shout-outs from invisible fans in the room 🤷‍♂️🎧 "Hey, did you say something?" Ah yes, the classic case of music-induced ghostly hecklers! 😂 So, next time you find yourself randomly shouting "What?!" at an imaginary audience, just blame it on the headphones! #HeadphonesHauntedByFriendlySpectators

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Slack this month:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

13 shares on Discord this month:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

64 shares on X this month:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Double chins are better than double faces.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t hate me, date me!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,561

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Making waves on Facebook:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Just shared via WeChat:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Making waves on YouTube:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Spotted on Discord:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Making waves on Telegram:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Spotted on Reddit:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

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