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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,935

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Seen just now on Discord:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Going viral on Facebook:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Shared recently on Threads:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Going viral on Threads:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Who knew I'd be partying like it's 1999… by going to bed at 9:00! 🎉🛌😴

20, 30, 40, 9, age, bedtime, humor, i, know, lifestyle, midnight, new, night, party, say, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

2 months ago
chance, flirt, humor, me, nude, nudes, person, send
Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

2 weeks ago
casual, false, false god, God, humor, invitation, later, man, pull, slang, worship
One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

1 month ago
feature, features, fun, humor, me, nature, personality, quirkiness, squirrel, squirrels, top
The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

2 months ago
back, call, day, humans, humor, language, light, observation, sun, time
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

1 month ago
annoyance, around, behavior, communication, distraction, etiquette, everyone, hear, i, know, loud, manners, needs, public, public speech, social, social behavior, speakerphone, speech, talk
Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

2 months ago
coworker, hit, humor, i, just, office, reminder, rules, stupid, workplace

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Trending via Slack:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

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Activity Log ✨

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Wake me when AI does housework.

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

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Activity Log ✨

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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