Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Shared recently on Discord:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Making waves on Twitch:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Breaking via Reddit:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Trending via WeChat:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Just shared via Reddit:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Brains are in high demand—too bad nobody's hiring! 🤓🧠📉

awful, commentary, difficult, difficult time, education, humor, intelligence, irony, person, social, social commentary, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

0

2 hours ago

alive, collapse, collapse of Rome, comparison, historical, historical comparison, humor, life, meme, memes, modern, modern life, Rome, time
Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

0

2 months ago

celebrity, humor, Kardashian, marriage, marry, new, new plan, ok, plan, relationship
Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

0

2 months ago

call, cold, complaining, heat, humor, seasons, spring, time, weather
Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

0

2 months ago

5, after, anniversary, couple, getting, honeymoon, humor, life, long-term, marriage, married, married life, opinion, relationship, right, road, term, unpopular
Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, best, beverage, comedy, dark, dark humor, humor, joke, satire, war, wine, WWIII
One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

0

2 months ago

ask, conversation, fault, faults, forget, forgetfulness, humor, i, interaction, listen, memory, name, social, social interaction, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Reddit this month:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

74 shares on X this month:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

15 shares on X this month:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

95 shares on Slack this month:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Just landed via X:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Just landed via WeChat:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Trending via Twitch:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Spotted on TikTok:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Seen just now on Telegram:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨