Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

My middle finger salutes you.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Trending via Pinterest:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Just shared via X:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Spotted on Messenger:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Spotted on Instagram:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Just landed via X:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Seen just now on X:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Making waves on WeChat:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew my weekend brunch waffles were slightly less controversial than my vocabulary choices? 🧇🤔📚

abbreviation, constitution, humor, law, short, unc, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

0

2 months ago

am, ceiling, daily, daily struggle, debating, humor, i, live, living, minutes, morning, morning routine, need, procrastination, routine, staring, struggle, thinking, tired, today
In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

0

2 months ago

20s, 40s, age, big, deal, eating, health, healthy, humor, lifestyle, oh, realization
(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, bra, British, flirtation, guy, humor, intimate, moment, right, unhooking
There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

0

2 months ago

app, diary, form, here, humor, humor quote, people, sarcasm, say, seeking, self-awareness, validation
I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

0

2 months ago

addiction, caffeine, coffee, drink, humor, i, jittery, me, people, personality, picture
Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

0

2 months ago

3, 3 a.m., a.m., again, am, being, deprivation, getting, ghost, hearing, hoping, humor, just, means, night, noise, parent, parenting, sleep, sleep deprivation, toddler

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not my room, not my elephant.

57 shares on X this month:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

52 shares on Instagram this month:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

69 shares on Twitch this month:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Spotted on Telegram:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Going viral on Reddit:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Shared recently on X:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Just landed via Threads:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Making waves on Telegram:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Spotted on TikTok:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Going viral on TikTok:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Just shared via WeChat:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Shared recently on TikTok:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨