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Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

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15,753

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Just landed via Facebook:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Going viral on Instagram:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Breaking via Threads:

Kinda psycho that there’s a clothing brand called “Banana Republic.”

Shared recently on Slack:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about avoiding Monday complaints unless overly energetic or manic.

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Commentary:
Sounds like your coffee needs an upgrade if Mondays are your best stories 🤪☕

attitude, complaint, hear, humor, i, manic, Monday, want

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66 shares on Telegram this month:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

58 shares on YouTube this month:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Trending via TikTok:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Spotted on Telegram:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

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Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

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Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨