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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

In marriage, whoever has the cooler last name gets to continue their legacy. Reject tradition.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,500

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Seen just now on Reddit:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Just shared via WeChat:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Trending via Threads:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your coffee needs an upgrade if Mondays are your best stories 🤪☕

attitude, complaint, hear, humor, i, manic, Monday, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

3 weeks ago

9-5, 9-5 job, 95, crypto, dumb, honesty, i, influencer, influencing, job, laziness, lazy, making, making money, money, scam, self-doubt, shy, shyness, too
My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

2 months ago

3, 3 AM, am, daughter, experience, humor, i, know, let, me, parent, parenting, sleep, wake, wake up, woke
If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

2 months ago

40, age, clothes, couch, display, fashion, humor, laying, mannequin, over, over 40, people, should, stores, want
“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

4 months ago

actually, appearance, beauty, confidence, excuse, humor, pretty, too
From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

2 months ago

done, got, guest, guests, hard, home, hospitality, house, housekeeping, humor, i, joke, just, mess, messy, prank, tell, visit
I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

2 months ago

activity, area, beach, coastal, coastal area, envy, fun, fun activity, jealousy, just, lifestyle, live, mean, people, random, random Tuesday, Tuesday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

39 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

45 shares on X this month:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

One thing I expect that we will learn from the vibe coding era is that most ‘idea guys’ don’t actually have very good ideas.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Just landed via WeChat:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Just shared via Slack:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Making waves on Facebook:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Just shared via Messenger:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Just landed via Reddit:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨