Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,864

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Shared recently on Threads:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Just shared via Threads:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Just shared via Messenger:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Spotted on Reddit:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Just shared via Threads:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Seen just now on Instagram:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your coffee needs an upgrade if Mondays are your best stories 🤪☕

attitude, complaint, hear, humor, i, manic, Monday, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

0

1 month ago

actually, adult, adult humor, bermuda, Bermuda Triangle, childhood, childhood fear, choices, crisis, disappearing, existential, existential crisis, fear, forever, humor, i, kid, life, life choices, random, random thoughts, thoughts, triangle, wondering
My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

0

4 months ago

frustration, humor, job, job frustration, morning, morning routine, motivation, myself, quitting, quitting job, routine, self, self-talk, talk, talking, work, work humor
Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

0

5 months ago

beer, better, buzz, conversation, drinking, handsome, humor, point, starting, wear
As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

0

4 weeks ago

beautiful, beautiful woman, confidence, ew, expression, humor, most, power, powerful, reaction, say, sometimes, thing, woman
When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

0

2 months ago

childhood, entertainment, humor, i, kid, Netflix, nostalgia, technology, walk
Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

0

2 months ago

Hawkingbird, humor, kill, pun, Tuah, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on X this month:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

91 shares on Discord this month:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Just shared via WeChat:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Seen just now on Reddit:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Just landed via X:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Just shared via Discord:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Spotted on Instagram:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Spotted on Slack:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨