Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,385

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Just shared via Discord:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Just shared via WeChat:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Just shared via WeChat:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Trending via WeChat:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Seen just now on Discord:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your cauliflower insists it's a T-bone, but it's clearly a florets-in-disguise 😂🥦🍖"

cauliflower, dead, eye, food, humor, irony, joke, plant-based, ribs, taste, tell, vegan

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

0

3 months ago

cooking, ever, humor, internet, jump, recipe, shortcut, technology, teleportation, well
A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

0

2 months ago

accessory, car, car window, dog, dog travel, funny term, head, humor, pet, pet accessory, stick, sunwoof, term, travel, window, wordplay
Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, cardio, course, exercise, fitness, humor, i, problems, running
No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

0

2 months ago

Blue’s Clues, blues, clues, comedy, depression, health, humor, mental, mental health, symptoms, wordplay
My middle finger salutes you.

0

2 months ago

attitude, finger, gesture, humor, insult, middle, middle finger, rude, rude gesture, salute, sarcasm
Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

0

2 months ago

AI, ChatGPT, conversation, coworker, daily, daily life, day, end, every, humor, joke, life, new, office, say, technology, used, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

47 shares on Threads this month:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

56 shares on X this month:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Just shared via Discord:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Live now on YouTube:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Live now on Facebook:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Spotted on Discord:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

My middle finger salutes you.

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨