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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When you're the life of the party but just want to be the snack table's bodyguard instead! 🥳🕵️‍♂️🍕

funny question, humor, kind, life, life of the party, party, psychopath, question, wants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

0

2 months ago

break, break the ice, elevator, hugging, humor, ice, interaction, social, social interaction, strangers, tension
If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

0

2 months ago

another, bad, bad decision, decision, decision making, friendship, here, humor, invitation, joke, looking, self-deprecation
The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

0

2 months ago

autocorrect, burn, frustration, hello, humor, invention, person, should, technology
Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

0

4 days ago

back, back to work, forgetfulness, humor, i, job, morning, office, remember, trying, work
If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

0

2 months ago

creature, fantasy, humor, i, ID, imagination, joke, mythical, mythical creature, Sighclops, wordplay
When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

0

2 months ago

communication, expectations, feedback, honesty, humor, i, me, nice, open, sarcasm, self-defense, tell, violence

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

39 shares on Reddit this month:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Just landed via Reddit:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Just shared via Twitch:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Spotted on Slack:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

Live now on Twitch:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Trending via TikTok:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Going viral on Instagram:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Spotted on Slack:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨