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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Going bananas on Slack:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Trending via TikTok:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Just landed via Slack:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Just landed via X:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When expectations meet reality and reality wins! 😂🤷‍♂️ #Oops #NotSorry"

always, expectation, fault, humor, i, responsibility, sarcasm, self-reflection, someone, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

0

5 months ago

affection, apology, communication, dating, feelings, ghosted, ghosting, humor, i, liked, much, relationship, sorry, too
I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

0

2 months ago

bouquet, catch, celebration, event, funeral, hope, humor, i, irony
Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, poet, poetry, read, reading, thinking, torture
I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

0

2 months ago

confidence, different, humor, just, levels, never, perspective, right, self-assurance, wrong
Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

0

2 months ago

daylight, humor, irony, perspective, question, saved, time, wanted
Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

0

5 months ago

else, hilarious, holding, humor, longer, microwave, microwave minute, minute, patience, phone, someone, sure, time, video, watching, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

91 shares on Threads this month:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

39 shares on Discord this month:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

79 shares on Threads this month:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Breaking via Telegram:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Shared recently on Reddit:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Shared recently on TikTok:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Going viral on Telegram:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Making waves on X:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨