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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Making waves on WeChat:

Blink if you want me!

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Making waves on Reddit:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Trending via Discord:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Just landed via Discord:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Just landed via TikTok:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

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Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.
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Commentary:
"Whoever said 'team work makes the dream work' clearly never met all the characters in my head who can't agree on anything 🤯🤷‍♂️ Looks like my squad is more like a chaotic committee than a well-oiled team! 😂 #OnePersonManyPersonalities"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

77 shares on X this month:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,519

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Making waves on X:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Spotted on Instagram:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Trending via Snapchat:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Live now on Slack:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Breaking via Twitch:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Just shared via Snapchat:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

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