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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

20 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Just shared via Slack:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Reported on Slack:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Going viral on Twitch:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Live now on Pinterest:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Trending via YouTube:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Just landed via Telegram:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Live now on Facebook:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

6 months ago

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Whoever said 'team work makes the dream work' clearly never met all the characters in my head who can't agree on anything 🤯🤷‍♂️ Looks like my squad is more like a chaotic committee than a well-oiled team! 😂 #OnePersonManyPersonalities"

collaboration, dream, dream work, explain, humor, individuality, joking, needs, personality, self, team, team work, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

20 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Just landed via Instagram:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Going viral on Reddit:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Trending via Instagram:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Making waves on Messenger:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Trending via Instagram:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Going viral on Reddit:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Spotted on WeChat:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

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