Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,264

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Going viral on Instagram:

Coffee is just goth water.

Going viral on YouTube:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Trending via Twitch:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Breaking via Messenger:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Shared recently on X:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Making waves on Instagram:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Maybe experimental noise music could use a little more "bubble pop and clap your hands" remix! 🎈👏😂

always, bubble, clapping, experimental, experimental music, fun, fun sound, laughing, metallic, metallic noise, music, never, noise, noise music, noises, people, scary, scary sound, sound, sounds, stuff, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

1 month ago

alcohol, before, blame, drinking, humor, idiot, started
Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

2 months ago

advice, health, i, properly, relationship, request, sleep, walk, walks
Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

3 months ago

cheat, comedy, crush, dating, flirt, humor, love, me, relationship, trying, unrequited, unrequited love
It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

2 months ago

30, cut, escalator, frustration, humor, inconvenience, minutes, power, power cut, stand, standing, sucks, waiting
Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

2 months ago

anxiety, being, being informed, done, ever, health, humor, information, information overload, informed, mental, mental health, overload, stress, thing, worst
“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

2 months ago

always, back, back pain, chair, humor, hurt, i, irony, never, pain, posture, say, self-awareness, sitting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Facebook this month:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

77 shares on Threads this month:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

90 shares on Slack this month:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

51 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Breaking via Messenger:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Live now on YouTube:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨