Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

74 shares on YouTube this month:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.