Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Why take the high road when you can ride shotgun with the psychopath? 🤪🛣️ Sometimes the journey is more exciting when you embrace the chaos! 😈🚗"

choice, high, high road, humor, i, personality, psychopath, road, sarcasm, take, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Talents: eating!

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2 months ago

eating, food, humor, lighthearted, skill, talent
I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

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5 months ago

awareness, decision, humor, i, illiterate, literacy, read, reading, room, social, social awareness
Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

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2 months ago

comfort, confidence, dot, fashion, humor, nothing, PJs, polka, polka dot, sexy, silky, sleepwear, style
I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

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2 months ago

cat, drink, drinking, every, help, humor, i, job, let, pay, pet, rent, smell, sommelier, wine
Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

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2 months ago

fitted, fitted sheet, ghost, ghosts, humor, joke, linens, never, notice, observation, sheet, wear
Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

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2 months ago

humor, lightheartedness, marshmallow, roasting, self-deprecation, self-esteem, stop, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Breaking via X:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Spotted on Threads:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Making waves on TikTok:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Just shared via Discord:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Live now on X:

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

Trending via Snapchat:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Talents: eating!

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨