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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Trending via Threads:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Just shared via Messenger:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Going viral on X:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Making waves on Threads:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

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You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine walking around with a 'mute' button, ready to boop anyone who's being too chatty! 🤫👆 Annoying coworker? Boop! Traffic jam? Boop! The possibilities are endless… 😂 #MuteButtonMagic"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Work is the worst video game ever.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

81 shares on X this month:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

18 shares on Slack this month:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,514

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Going viral on Slack:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Going bananas on Telegram:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Spreading quickly via X:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Breaking via Instagram:

Dear Santa, Money!

Just landed via Instagram:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Breaking via Messenger:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

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