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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,026

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Spotted on X:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Just landed via X:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Just landed via Slack:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Going viral on X:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Still waiting for the TV that understands my crispy snack struggles! 🍿🤷‍♂️📺🔊"

chips, eating, eating chips, entertainment, humor, increase, joke, real, smart, smart TV, snack, start, tech, tech humor, TV, volume

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

1 month ago
dislike, everything, food, humor, invention, meal, picked, plate, put, salad, separation, someone
My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

2 months ago
fighter, health, humor, immune, immune system, lover, me, personality, system
My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

1 month ago
bake, baking, British, comedy, dream, driving, DUI, food, great, Great British Bake Off, humor, Saab, tent
Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

1 month ago
addiction, amazing, call, cure, fast, humor, i, irony, moment, observation, phone, technology
I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

4 weeks ago
cliff, echo, friend, friends, heartbreak, humor, i, just, loneliness, love, relationship, right, single
Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

1 month ago
bedtime, before, earlier, every, humor, i, morning, night, procrastination, regret, sleep, wake up, why

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Live now on WhatsApp:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Breaking via Messenger:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Trending via Slack:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

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A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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