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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has shared:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has copied:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has downloaded:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has downloaded:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has copied:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’tβ€”that’s what happened.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has copied:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has shared:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has shared:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has copied:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Pinterest:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

How did Satoshi write the code of Bitcoin before Claude?

Just landed via Messenger:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Trending via Snapchat:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Just landed via Threads:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Spotted on YouTube:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Spotted on Threads:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Witty quote about a smart TV boosting volume when munching chips, playful and humorous vibe.
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Commentary:
"Still waiting for the TV that understands my crispy snack struggles! πŸΏπŸ€·β€β™‚οΈπŸ“ΊπŸ”Š"

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

83 shares on X this month:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Introverts have fun, too β€” we just don’t care if you know.

78 shares on Slack this month:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

66 shares on X this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, β€œSo this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,321

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has copied:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars β€” the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has shared:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has downloaded:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has downloaded:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has bookmarked:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has shared:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via Snapchat:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Just landed via Reddit:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Trending via Discord:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Just landed via Telegram:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full namesβ€”first and lastβ€”like a government office.

Spotted on Facebook:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

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