Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,544

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Making waves on Twitch:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Just landed via TikTok:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Seen just now on Discord:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

2 months ago

0

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, so you're saying eating a donut counts as a workout now? 🍩💪 Talk about muscle activation in the tastiest way possible! 😂 Who needs a gym membership when you've got a box of donuts, am I right? 🤷‍♂️ #FitnessGoals #DonutLover

40, advice, calory, donut, eat, eating, exercise, fitness, follow, humor, joke, just, me, muscles, snack

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

0

2 months ago

advertising, commercial, commercials, creativity, dream, fragrance, humor, i, put, TV, weird
Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

0

2 months ago

advice, button, elevator, express, express function, function, funny advice, humor, note, secret, speed, thing
With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, digestive, digestive trouble, health, humor, lessons, life, life lessons, trouble, wisdom
Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

0

2 months ago

activity, closed, closure, day, every, hours, humor, imagine, media, shop, social, social media
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

0

2 months ago

banker, career, finance, humor, i, interest, job, joke, lost, pun, used
I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

0

2 months ago

book, books, brood, built, castle, humor, introvert, procrastination, reading, unread, unread book, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

99 shares on X this month:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

79 shares on Discord this month:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

66 shares on Discord this month:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Trending via Twitch:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Spotted on Facebook:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Just landed via Reddit:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Freshly posted on X:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Trending via Pinterest:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

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