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I only have one wish in lifeโ€ฆ For all my dreams to come true.

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I told ChatGPT about us.

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โ€œIt’s swimsuit seasonโ€ I say, eating another swimsuit.

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Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

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God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

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I run a parody bank account.

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Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

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Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

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You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

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Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

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Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

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Digging deep into the job market, one rock at a time! ๐Ÿชจ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ“‰



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