Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,704

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Making waves on Threads:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Just shared via TikTok:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Going viral on YouTube:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Just landed via WeChat:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Going viral on Twitch:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the sweet irony of realizing that Mondays are the new "me time" while Fridays are just pre-party stressors! 🙃🗓️🍹

adulting, better, day, Friday, humor, life, life realization, Monday, off day, realization, week, work, work week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

0

5 months ago

alien, aliens, humor, point, rooting, sarcasm
I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

0

2 months ago

hidden, hidden talent, humor, i, irony, joke, problem, self-deprecation, talent
Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

0

2 months ago

dorito, food, humor, joke, love, mean, relationship, snack, triangle
You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

0

4 months ago

details, honesty, humor, lie, memory, remember, truth
Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

0

4 months ago

again, am, amazing, free, going, growth, humor, i, interview, invitation, job, job interview, literally, motivation, nervous, nervousness, never, personal, personal growth, public, public speaking, self-confidence, self-praise, speaking, talk
When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

0

2 months ago

again, email, humor, i, job, just, last, me, message, never, never find, ooo, OOO message, quit, quit job, resignation, setting, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on TikTok this month:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

76 shares on Slack this month:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Just landed via WeChat:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Just shared via Threads:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Trending via Slack:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Trending via Twitch:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Just shared via TikTok:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Broadcasted on Slack:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨