Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,538

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Just shared via Reddit:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Trending via YouTube:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Therapist: *looks at my file* 'Maybe I should have been a zookeeper…🐒🔍'"

career, health, humor, mental, mental health, reason, reevaluation, self-awareness, therapist, therapy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

0

2 months ago

conflict, craving, donut, humor, hunger, i, jealousy, me, nemesis, person, rivalry
Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

0

2 months ago

comparison, Facebook, friends, humor, media, pens, relationships, social, social media, writing
It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

0

3 months ago

almost, bus, humor, put, struggle, struggle bus, time, tire, winter, winter tire
You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

0

2 months ago

communication, compatibility, girl, guy, humor, joke, just, laughter, lol, relationship, work
“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

0

5 months ago

advocate, devil, devil’s, devil’s advocate, existence, heaven, humor, irony, joke, legal, legal term, prosecutor, term, wordplay
I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

0

2 months ago

anyone, Cybertruck, empty, empty seat, humor, never, observation, passenger, seat, seen, tech, vehicle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Threads this month:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

94 shares on X this month:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

94 shares on X this month:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Just landed via Reddit:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Just shared via Twitch:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Spotted on TikTok:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Spotted on Facebook:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨