Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,569

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Just landed via Instagram:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Making waves on X:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Just shared via Slack:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Just landed via Facebook:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Spreading quickly via X:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Going viral on Telegram:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When your detective skills are top-notch, but your job application says "unemployed" 🕵️‍♀️📱🤣

able, another, behavior, being, celebrity, gossip, jobless, jobless behavior, media, notice, observation, seriously, social, social media, unfollow

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

0

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, early, found, i, just, matter, morning, motivation, procrastination, sleep, work
My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, aging sign, body, dog, dog years, feels, health, humor, joke, sign, year’s
I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

0

2 months ago

confidence, give, humor, i, me, people, realize, self-acceptance, shit
Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

0

2 months ago

authenticity, bring, felony, fulfillment, happiness, humor, identity, never, pretend, pretense, someone, true
Some people get it. Most people don’t.

0

2 months ago

difference, humor, insight, most, people, understanding
Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

0

5 months ago

5, body, body image, fatter, future, here, humor, i, image, joke, myself, self, weight, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on X this month:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Going viral on Discord:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Seen just now on Discord:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Just landed via Telegram:

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Live now on Threads:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨