Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

The shitshow must go on.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Just landed via Discord:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Trending via Telegram:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

Spotted on Discord:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Shared recently on Slack:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Spotted on Messenger:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Going viral on TikTok:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew that annoyance could be so alluring? 🙄💁‍♀️ Watch out, world, here comes the most enchanting annoyance you've ever seen! 💃😜"

annoying, beautiful, being, charm, humor, most, personality, thing, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

0

5 months ago

advice, answer, bite, death, die, give, humor, joke, poison, should, simply, snake, sure, survival, wait
Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

0

5 months ago

check, childhood, code, digital, digital life, email, ever, humor, i, life, online, online security, security, technology, verification, verification code, wanted, young
You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

0

2 months ago

bottle, condiment, empty, food, food humor, full, home, house, humor, in-between, ketchup
French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

0

2 months ago

analogy, food, french, french fry, fry, give, humor, joke, lifeboat, never, scarcity, snack, Titanic
Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

0

2 months ago

apology, being, being right, correct, correctness, humor, i, right, said, sarcasm, sorry, stuff
Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

0

2 months ago

activity, changing, changing mind, decision making, flexibility, humor, mind, open-mindedness, underrated

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Social media may have been a mistake.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

57 shares on X this month:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Shared recently on Messenger:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Trending via Threads:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Just landed via Telegram:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Just shared via Telegram:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨