Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

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I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

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Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

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My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

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So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

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Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

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They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

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Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

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The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

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I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.