Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Seen just now on Threads:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Shared recently on X:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Trending via WeChat:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Going bananas on Discord:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Seen just now on X:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Making waves on Slack:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew that annoyance could be so alluring? 🙄💁‍♀️ Watch out, world, here comes the most enchanting annoyance you've ever seen! 💃😜"

annoying, beautiful, being, charm, humor, most, personality, thing, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

0

4 months ago

always, bubble, clapping, experimental, experimental music, fun, fun sound, laughing, metallic, metallic noise, music, never, noise, noise music, noises, people, scary, scary sound, sound, sounds, stuff, why
I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

0

2 months ago

backfield, football, giggle, humor, i, immature, just, maniac, me, much, penetration, sports, too, watch
If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

0

1 month ago

across, door, doors, game, gap, gaps, girlfriend, humor, i, level, lever, love, me, open, pull, puzzle-solving, relationship, throw, tiny, tiny girlfriend, video, video game
The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

0

2 months ago

am, casual, clothes, comfort, fact, fashion, humor, i, lot, person, personality, self-deprecation, sleep, sleepwear, wardrobe
Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

0

2 months ago

dating, found, humor, maybe, reason, romance, sarcasm, soul, soulmate, wit
Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

0

2 months ago

activity, fun, ghost, haunted, humor, local, reason, woods

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Reddit this month:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

18 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

66 shares on X this month:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

66 shares on X this month:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Seen just now on Slack:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Just landed via Threads:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Spotted on Twitch:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Breaking via X:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Making waves on X:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Going viral on Discord:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Live now on Snapchat:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨