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Commentary:
"Being complimented by a girl in public feels like you've won the approval of the universe! 👼💖 It's basically the equivalent of having a choir of angels sing your praises… or getting a high-five from Cupid himself! 😇💘"

affection, angel, being, compliment, flattery, getting, girl, humor, kiss, public

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

1 month ago
bear, car, car trouble, cold, freezing, humor, outside, polar, polar bear, start, trouble, winter
I am not in a good place, geographically.

1 month ago
am, geography, good, humor, i, location, mindset, place
Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

1 month ago
chair, comfort, dance, funny observation, me, nightclub, nightlife, observation, party, social, where
Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

1 month ago
another, communication, email, expectations, hell, humor, irony, me, patience, procrastination, ridiculous, wait, waiting, weeks
Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

1 month ago
every, fun, humor, perspective, room, self-confidence, view, wit
When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

3 weeks ago
advice, ask, help, helpful, humor, i, last, losing, memory, put, question, questions, search, someone, something, where

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Shared recently on Telegram:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Just shared via Facebook:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Going viral on Telegram:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

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Activity Log ✨

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

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Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏