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I can feel your energy from two planets away.

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I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

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I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

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The rain is pouring. So naturally itโ€™s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

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Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

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The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

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I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

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Iโ€™ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

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I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

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With great power comes a great electricity bill.

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Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Commentary:
Bring back the blooper reels! I need to see my favorite actors proving they're human, one flub at a time! ๐ŸŽฌ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ

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