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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,784

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Seen just now on Slack:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Just landed via Reddit:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Trending via Threads:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Making waves on Messenger:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Seen just now on Facebook:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Random Funny Quotes

Random funny quotes to crack you up. 😎✌️

Random funny quotes 👇

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

0

2 months ago

age, being, honesty, humor, just, mean, old, pretend, relationships, too
Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

0

2 months ago

arms, baby, betrayal, disappointment, else, emotional, holding, humor, humor quote, loyalty, put, relationship, someone, trust
Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

0

5 months ago

digestion, even, gut, handle, humor, milk, thing, trust
Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

0

2 months ago

activity, air, fresh, fresh air, fun, fun activity, love, moonlight, poetry, pregnancy, red, romance, roses, roses are red, scare
I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

0

2 months ago

connection, forget, friendship, humor, i, me, people, personality, shy, social
Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

0

2 months ago

diet, eating, food, healthy, healthy eating, humor, joke, right, salsa, serving, vegetable
May the algorithms be with you.

0

4 months ago

algorithm, geek, geek humor, humor, pun, star, Star Wars, technology, wars
Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

0

5 months ago

access, humor, internet, people, read-only, restriction, should, technology
Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

0

3 weeks ago

around, bright, brightness, Christmas, Christmas light, here, holiday, humor, light, lights, only, personality, sarcasm, thing
Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

0

2 months ago

code, debug, development, enlightenment, humor, programming, software, software development, sometimes, staring

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Discord this month:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Just shared via Discord:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Going viral on Slack:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Spotted on Telegram:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Making waves on TikTok:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Just shared via X:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Going viral on Instagram:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Activity Log ✨

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨