Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,877

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Spreading quickly via X:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Spotted on Reddit:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

Making waves on Reddit:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Shared recently on X:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Just landed via Threads:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Random Funny Quotes

Random funny quotes to crack you up. 😎✌️

Random funny quotes 👇

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

0

2 months ago

bread, comfort, comfort food, food, garlic, garlic bread, humor, therapist
Reincarnation, in this economy?

0

5 months ago

afterlife, economy, finance, humor, life, reincarnation, sarcasm
“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

0

2 months ago

cart, deserve, humor, indulgence, retail, retail therapy, self-care, sh, shopping, therapy, treat, yourself
Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

0

2 months ago

bra, daily, daily life, exercise, fashion, getting, health, humor, life, looks, professional, relatable, should, sport, sports, sports bra, women, women’s, women’s health
I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

0

2 months ago

convenience, frustration, going, home, humor, i, just, life, parking, point, priorities, where
Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

0

2 months ago

40s, aging, humor, life, milestone, pounds, weight, welcome
Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

0

5 months ago

doubt, easily, exercise, fitness, flexibility, humor, i, me, pose, right, self-doubt, whenever, yoga, yoga pose
No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

0

2 months ago

complaint, defense, hr, HR complaint, humor, legal, me, office, workplace
25 is the new 0 years old.

0

2 weeks ago

25, age, birthday, celebration, humor, milestone, new, number, old, youth
Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

0

2 months ago

digital, digital lifestyle, ever, humor, i, internet, lifestyle, nonstop, obsession, online, tech, wanted, young, youth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

79 shares on Discord this month:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

93 shares on X this month:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I probably think this song is about me.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Live now on Slack:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Going viral on TikTok:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Just shared via Instagram:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Just landed via Slack:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Activity Log ✨

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨