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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,850

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Spotted on Instagram:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Just landed via Reddit:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Making waves on Threads:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Making waves on Instagram:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Trending via Instagram:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Shared recently on Slack:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Random Funny Quotes

Random funny quotes to crack you up. 😎✌️

Random funny quotes 👇

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

0

5 months ago

believe, cake, cartoons, harder, hole, lot, steal, table
The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

0

2 months ago

humor, intimacy, Jaws, movie, relationship, sex, soundtrack, theme
They should invent a type of situation that improves.

0

2 months ago

humor, improvement, invention, life, optimism, should, situation, type
Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

0

7 hours ago

brag, date, dj, humor, intuition, irony, relationship, woman, women
Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

0

2 months ago

heartache, humor, irony, love, pain, relationship, same, something, sweet, thing, toothache
Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

0

2 months ago

4th, 4th of July, American, American culture, Americans, celebration, cultural, cultural difference, culture, date, date format, difference, format, holiday, humor, july, national, national holiday, pronunciation, say
My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

0

5 months ago

call, circle, humor, i, know, loneliness, phone, phone call, rings, scammer, small, small circle, social, social circle
My default setting is sexual energy.

0

3 weeks ago

default, default setting, energy, humor, personality, setting, sexual, sexual energy
Farting, but with eye contact.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, contact, eye, eye contact, fart, funny situation, humor, interaction, moment, situation, social, social interaction
I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

0

2 months ago

boob, boobs, contact, eye, eye contact, glad, humor, i, interaction, last, making, me, need, people, self-deprecating, social, social interaction, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

73 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Making waves on Threads:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Just landed via YouTube:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Activity Log ✨

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨