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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,407

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Shared recently on Facebook:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Going viral on TikTok:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Just landed via Facebook:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Just shared via Telegram:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Spice up your life: When friendship goals include discovering who zig-a-zig-ah'd into who’s heart! 🌶️❤️🎤

breakup, broke, celebrity, fame, girl, girls, group, lesbianism, money, music, music group, over, relationship, rumor, spice, Spice Girl

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

0

5 months ago

calm, chill, folks, humor, joke, just, reality, simulation, virtual, virtual reality
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

0

2 months ago

always, drunk, keep, mouth, shut, sober, teach
Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

0

2 months ago

activity, beach, fun, fun activity, humor, irony, Jaws, movie, preparation, vacation, watching
You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

0

2 months ago

accent, bibbit, creativity, fun, humor, janglers, just, language, made-up, made-up words, nonsense, people, playful, real, say, scottish, Scottish accent, think, words
We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

0

3 months ago

back, business, business phrase, circle, circle back, close, delay, humor, i, meeting, next, phrase, procrastination, season, taste, year
Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

0

2 months ago

adult, anxiety, being, difficult, fear, full, grown, humor, life, maturity, responsibility, terrible, trouble

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Twitch this month:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

32 shares on Instagram this month:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

64 shares on Slack this month:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Just landed via Slack:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Making waves on Discord:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Just landed via Reddit:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Just landed via Slack:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Just shared via WeChat:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Live now on Telegram:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨