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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Just shared via Reddit:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Spotted on Twitch:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Seen just now on Threads:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Just landed via X:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about resilience with a playful tone, emphasizing personal growth humorously.

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Commentary:
Getting strong enough to open that stubborn pickle jar 🥒💪😂

day, due, every, getting, humor, improvement, motivation, personal, personal reason, reason, reasons, self, self-improvement, strength

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89 shares on WeChat this month:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

16 shares on X this month:

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Spotted on YouTube:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Live now on WeChat:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Breaking via X:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Spotted on TikTok:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Going viral on X:

Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

Seen just now on Discord:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Just shared via Telegram:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

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Activity Log ✨

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨