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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,355

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Just shared via Discord:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Just landed via Twitch:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Shared recently on Slack:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Just shared via Slack:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Spotted on WeChat:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Seen just now on Threads:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Getting strong enough to open that stubborn pickle jar 🥒💪😂

day, due, every, getting, humor, improvement, motivation, personal, personal reason, reason, reasons, self, self-improvement, strength

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

0

2 months ago

behavior, bragging, happiness, happy, humility, humor, keep, know, likes, sarcasm, self-control, social, social behavior, yourself
It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

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4 months ago

always, available, bill, customer, customer service, expense, finance, humor, month, monthly, monthly bill, never, payment, sarcasm, service, subscription, surprise, us
So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

0

4 months ago

beauty, beauty pageant, Earth, every, humor, joke, miss, Miss Universe, pageant, space, universe, winner
Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

0

3 months ago

good, here, monster, monsters, morning, slay, townsfolk
What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

0

5 months ago

adversity, attitude, grumpiness, grumpy, humor, kill, little, motivation, resilience, strength
Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

0

2 months ago

beginning, cool, every, FBI, humor, nostalgia, pretty, remember, retro, security, security warning, tape, threat, threaten, VHS, warning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

89 shares on Threads this month:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Cool times create cool guys.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Live now on WeChat:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Seen just now on Discord:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Going bananas on Discord:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨