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The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

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Overthinking should at least burn calories.

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Men be like โ€œI would do anything for you,โ€ and then do nothing.

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At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

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I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

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Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

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I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, itโ€™s my birthright.

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At therapy, saying โ€œDonโ€™t worry about itโ€ to every question.

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If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

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Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

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Due to personal reasons, Iโ€™ll be getting stronger every day.

Due to personal reasons, Iโ€™ll be getting stronger every day.

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Getting strong enough to open that stubborn pickle jar ๐Ÿฅ’๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ˜‚

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