Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Just landed via Pinterest:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Just shared via TikTok:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Just landed via Telegram:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Live now on Discord:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Just shared via WeChat:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Breaking via Facebook:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like I'm going pro at soloing the 'networking dance'—just me, myself, and Wi-Fi! 🤹‍♂️📡😅

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

78 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

87 shares on Slack this month:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

79 shares on X this month:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,291

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Broadcasted on Threads:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Just landed via Facebook:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Going viral on Snapchat:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Live now on Reddit:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Just shared via Telegram:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Trending via TikTok:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

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