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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,289

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Trending via Threads:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Going bananas on X:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Just landed via YouTube:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Just shared via Discord:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Going viral on Instagram:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

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Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.
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Commentary:
When you're more concerned about dragons than your savings account 🐉🏦😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Reddit this month:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

34 shares on X this month:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

98 shares on Slack this month:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,712

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Making waves on TikTok:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Going viral on Snapchat:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Live now on Threads:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Going viral on X:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Going viral on Facebook:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Shared recently on Threads:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Seen just now on Discord:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Shared recently on Discord:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Just landed via Telegram:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

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