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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2545 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,707

Funny Quotes Topics

15,365

Funny Quotes Images

12,707

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Going viral on Threads:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Seen just now on Telegram:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Just shared via Slack:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Live now on Instagram:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Going viral on Instagram:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Spotted on Slack:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Trending via Reddit:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2545 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,707

Funny Quotes Topics

15,365

Funny Quotes Images

12,707

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Reported on TikTok:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Going viral on Instagram:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Seen just now on Discord:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Just landed via Threads:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Going viral on TikTok:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

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