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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,978

Funny Quotes Topics

14,785

Funny Quotes Images

11,978

2 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Reported on Telegram:

Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Reported on Twitch:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Broadcasted on Slack:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Making waves on Twitch:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Going viral on Instagram:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Trending via X:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Home » Funny Accurate Quotes

Funny accurate quotes

Funny accurate quotes bring a burst of laughter 😂 while hitting the truth spot-on 🎯! Perfect for brightening your day 🌞 or sharing with friends 🤪, these witty gems mix humor and reality in the best way. Ready to chuckle and relate all at once? Let’s dive into some seriously hilarious and surprisingly true words that’ll have you saying, “That’s so me!” 😆🔥

New funny accurate quotes 👇

19 hours ago
Share →: The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Commentary:
"Perfectly on point—and on impact! 📚💥😄"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Commentary:
"😂 Finally found my new go-to response! SALTS: The emoji of texts! 🧂📱"
4 months ago
Share →: A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Commentary:
Ah, yes, welcome to the edgier side of the internet – where memes wear black and cookies are sprinkled with a hint of existential crisis. 🕶️💻 Embrace the shadows of "The Darker Web," where the ones and zeros are as mysterious as your browsing history. Who needs sunshine when you have encrypted darkness? 🌑🕸️ #KeepingItCryptic
6 months ago
Share →: The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Commentary:
"Ah, the good ol' Bible – works wonders as a weapon AND as a spiritual guide! 📖🎯 Just be sure to aim for accuracy when 'delivering' its message 😅💥 #BibleThumping"
6 months ago
Share →: If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Commentary:
Looks like this daisy has a very serious case of mixed signals 🌼❤️ One minute it's "loves me," the next it's "loves me not" – talk about a rollercoaster of emotions! Who knew flowers could be so indecisive? 😄🌸
6 months ago
Share →: I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Commentary:
When life gives you a mix-up of words, just roll with it and embrace the chaos like a champ! 🙃 Who knew "all worries" could be the perfect phrase for those moments when everything feels slightly off-kilter? Just remember, sometimes it’s the slip-ups that bring the biggest smiles! 😄 #EmbraceTheAwkward

For even more funny accurate quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny accurate quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,978

Funny Quotes Topics

14,785

Funny Quotes Images

11,978

2 minutes ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Spotted on Facebook:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Going viral on Threads:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Shared recently on X:

Dear Santa, Money!

Spotted on Instagram:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Shared recently on TikTok:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Just shared via Threads:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Breaking via WeChat:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

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