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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Live now on YouTube:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Trending via Instagram:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

672 Funny activity quotes

More funny activity quotes 👇

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

0

2 months ago

activity, game, hide, hide and seek, me, night, phone, seek, winning
I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

0

2 months ago

activity, bend, exercise, flexibility, floor, humor, i, keys, over, sure, yoga
What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

0

2 months ago

activity, catfishing, dating, humor, idiot, mat, play, Tinder
If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, failure, humor, risk, skydiving, success
Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

0

2 months ago

activity, anytime, cost, dress, fashion, fun, fun activity, humor, retail, retail therapy, same, shopping, therapy
I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, activity, end, food, fun, fun activity, humor, i, imagination, mashed, mashed potato, pool, potato, swim, wonder
I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

0

2 months ago

achievement, activity, brag, day, fun, fun activity, humor, i, mean, put, puzzle, self-deprecation, together, year’s
Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

0

2 months ago

activity, break, decision, drop, drop it like it’s hot, dropping, due, hot, humor, i, it’s, personal, personal reason, reason, reasons, reference, song, song reference
All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

0

2 months ago

activity, favorite, favorite activity, humor, laziness, mattress, relaxation, sleep
I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

0

3 months ago

activity, doing, doing things, exhaustion, humor, i, just, next, people, procrastination, relaxation, sarcasm, things, understand, week, weekend, workweek

For even more funny activity quotes, hit next 👇

All funny activity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on WeChat this month:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

77 shares on Slack this month:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

59 shares on X this month:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Just landed via Telegram:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Spotted on Discord:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Just shared via WeChat:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Making waves on Twitch:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Shared recently on X:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Breaking via Slack:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Activity Log ✨

672 Funny activity quotes

More funny activity quotes 👇

All funny activity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨