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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2505 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,667

Funny Quotes Topics

15,340

Funny Quotes Images

12,667

3 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Trending via Facebook:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Making waves on Facebook:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Reported on Twitch:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Spreading quickly via X:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Making waves on X:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Just shared via Telegram:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Home » Funny Attitude Quotes » Page 15

146 Funny attitude quotes

More funny attitude quotes 👇

Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Commentary:
Age is just a number, and wrinkles are just the roadmap of life! 🧓🏼 Who says you can't be fabulous at any age? As long as you keep that youthful attitude, you're golden! ✨ #AgeIsJustANumber #ForeverYoung
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Commentary:
"Lazy? Oh, no no no! 🙅‍♀️I am a master of selective participation, thank you very much! 💁‍♂️ Why do something now when you can do it later, right? 😉 #ProcrastinationPro"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Commentary:
"Instead of just dipping your toes in the pool of problems, dive right in and do some synchronized swimming with them! 💦 Embrace your inner problem child and show those obstacles who's boss. 💪 Your motto: If you're gonna be a problem, might as well be the whole enchilada! 🌮😄"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Commentary:
"When it comes to being flexible, I'm as bendy as a brick wall 🧘‍♂️💁‍♂️. As long as I get my way, I'm willing to contort myself into any shape necessary! #FlexibilityGoals"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Commentary:
"Me trying to solve my life problems like 🤷‍♂️: 'I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.' Who needs logic when you've got a carefree attitude? 😂 #LivingMyBestConfusedLife"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Commentary:
🤷‍♂️ "I don't get mad, I get impressed with life's consistency in testing my patience. It's like a daily pop quiz I never asked for, but hey, let's roll with it. Bring it on, universe! 🙄"

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2505 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

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Funny Quotes Topics

15,340

Funny Quotes Images

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3 minutes ago

3,450

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Just landed via Slack:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Trending via Slack:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Just landed via Slack:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Just landed via Twitch:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

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