Commentary:
"Me skipping the midnight cookie: tomorrow, I'm expecting to wake up as a runway model. 😂🍪💃"
197 Funny better quotes
Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.
Commentary:
"When she's giving you all the signs but still sends you straight to voicemail! 📞😂 #SkillfulSwerve"
Not working on myself because I make better content this way.
Commentary:
"When life gives you flaws, turn them into plot twists! 😂📚 #UnfinishedMasterpiece"
“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.
Commentary:
Haha, true! If you're on top, comparison is just a friendly nudge to stay awesome! 😎🏆😂
Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.
Commentary:
Somebody remind me to take life lessons from dogs 🐶😂. Window views > Monday blues! 🚗🌬️🎉
You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.
Commentary:
Looks like the only thing faster than a dog sprinting after you is my sarcasm chasing after your bad jokes! 🐕🔥😂 But hey, at least my chasing skills won’t leave you panting… unless it's from laughing too hard! 😄🎉
King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.
Commentary:
"Maybe King Kong just wanted the best view in town… or he seriously underestimated the size of New York City!" 🦍🌆 #HeightIssues
Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.
Commentary:
Oh no, classic strategy! When in doubt, just double down on the weirdness! 🤪 It's like trying to put out a fire by throwing more fire on it 🔥🔥 Who knew being awkward could be so much fun? 😅 #awkwardturtle
Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.
Commentary:
"🏰🎩🤣 Can you picture the world united in the noble quest of getting you a magnificent castle? 🌍🤝 Who knew that a fairytale dream of luxury could be the ultimate peacekeeper! 🏰✨ #CastleForAll #WorldUnityGoals"
Moose would have been a better name for a cow.
Commentary:
Well, those poor cows never asked to be named after a sound effect 🐄😂 Maybe we should start a petition to rename them to Moose! #TeamMooseCow