42 Funny birthday quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

  Commentary:
  Oh no, the dreaded office birthday celebrations strikes again! 🎉 Looks like it's time to update the resume and start job-hunting for a workplace that won't throw surprise parties. 🎂 Who knew a cake could cause such chaos? 🍰 #OfficeDrama

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  5 months ago

  Share →: These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a paper planner when you have Facebook reminding you of everyone's birthdays? 🎈🎉 Time to log in and pretend you remembered on your own! 😄📆 #ThanksFacebook"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

  Commentary:
  "Well, some days you wake up feeling like a vintage wine 🍷… except you check the label and realize it's a mistaken identity! Age is just a number, but it can be quite the trickster, 😄🎉#ForeverYoungAtHeart #AgeIsJustANumber"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

  Commentary:
  Hmm, let's hope I'm not stuck under the bed with those missing socks! 🎁🧦 Maybe I'm chilling in the pantry next to the cookies, or perhaps I've gone incognito as a decorative pillow in the living room. Wherever I am, I'm definitely not making it easy for you to find me! 😉

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a diet when you have birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother's Day, weekends, and… you being you 🤷‍♂️🍰🍾🎄🍫 Just blame it on the occasions, right? 😄"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: 99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

  Commentary:
  🎉 Ah, the thrilling excitement of adulting! When your birthday turns from wild parties to polite text exchanges, you know you've officially leveled up in maturity. It's like a sophisticated dance of balance between genuine gratitude and minimal effort – the ultimate art of adulthood! Happy "thanks so much"ing! 😉🎈

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic childhood technique of adding that 'and a half' to sound more grown-up 🧒🏼. But as we reach the big 4-0, it's suddenly more about subtracting those years! 🎉😆 #ForeverYoung"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

  Commentary:
  "You know you're in trouble when forgetting your wife's birthday feels like playing a dangerous game of memory roulette! 🎲💔 Mark those calendars, gentlemen! #LivingOnTheEdge"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic circle of life celebration 😏🎉. It's like a sexy inception within a birthday cake 🎂. Remember to blow out more than just candles 🔥💨! Just make sure to give your parents a high-five on their special day too 👏🎈!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the ultimate test of vocal prowess and humility – karaoke with a group of singers 🎤🎂 It's like the Olympics of 'Please Don't Stop Believin'' 😉 #KaraokeProblems"

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